When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
accomplished twins. life is a go
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
