3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
