i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
