I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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