I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Randomize