like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
