I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
