My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
