i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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