My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
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