all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize