did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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