You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
