She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
