Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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