these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
