In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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