I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
