Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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