wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
