Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
