i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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