its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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