Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa

(860): View more from Connecticut

oh sweet, sweet irony

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(718): View more from New York

Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...

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(518): View more from New York

it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am

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(206): View more from Washington

I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump

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(916): View more from California

It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.

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