and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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