The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
did i walk over a car last night?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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