it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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