hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
