somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
