PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
