he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
