if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
