what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
