I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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