we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
