if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
