help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
