so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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