I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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