C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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