Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
