Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
sex in a hospital.. check
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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