Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
