she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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