We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
