i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he puts the penis in happiness.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
