i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I wish life had little blips of pornography
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
