Dude my mom stole all your condoms
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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