even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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