I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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