careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
