I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize