He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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