Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
