my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
