found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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