you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
