She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
