I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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