don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
